AMERICANIZING KENYANS

AMERICANIZING KENYANS 101
Several years ago when  we were still in primary school, our committed teachers drilled into our young, confused and naive minds that the British English was to be our only English. And so we swallowed our obvious confusion and forever pledged to pay homage to colonization by speaking the language of the Queen.
This was before our conservative minds opened up to another world that gave all of us another choice. That new world was Hollywood extra extraordinaire. This was to be the beginning of a revolution in Kenya that would give rise to American English in Kenya. This metamorphosis was due to the rapid spread of Hollywood into the Kenyan mainstream entertainment.
 Before we knew it, the always prim, neat and perfect British English was facing a tight competition from the contradictory American English led by rebellious Kenyans seeking to appear cool, modern and sophisticated.

Pants not panties
However 'cool' American English has this tendency of confusing those unfamiliar with it. Such was the case of 21 passengers in an overcrowded 14-seater matatu heading for Umoja to replenish their energy in readiness for a new day.
Everyone in the bus was minding their own business doing God knows what when one 'terrible disturbing' phone call spoilt for all of us. "Pick me up when I get off." But the caller needed more clarification (I guess) because just then the 'well mannered' Nairobian lady screamed, "I am wearing green pants!" Let's rewind that, yes she said PANTS and every soul inside the matatu turned in their direction. Wide-eyed, half annoyed, half confused gazes from passengers seeking to understand this girl's obvious disrespect for her dear Earthlings.
I bet some were dying to ask and probably scold her for publicly revealing the colour of her undergarments. Did she stash her manners inside her purse or what?
One old man sitting comfortably beside me shook his walking stick in agitation, probably wishing he was her father. That idle stick would have landed hard on the young lass's derriere in a split second.
But while they were silently condemning her and spitting curses( she obviously didn't care), I was dying to explain the confusion. The young lady had said PANTS not PANTIES.
According to Wikipedia.com the word PANTS is a synonym for TROUSERS, the former is American English while the latter is British English. Wikipedia also defines PANTIES as a form of underwear designed to be worn by women and girls in the crotch area below the waist. The two are often confused to mean the same thing.The lady didn't mean any disrespect, she was just being an Americanized Kenyan, oblivious of the language of our conservative society.